Although you are happy and in a relationship, there is one thing that is bugging you: your relationship isn’t progressing as swiftly as you had hoped.
But in a relationship, how slow is too slow? How do you know that you’re taking things really slowly or that you’re not going anywhere?
Everybody moves at a different speed and only does what they feel comfortable doing. Therefore, this circumstance may be frustrating, particularly if you’re keen to advance your relationship.
We’ll go deeper into the topic of moving too slowly in a relationship and how to handle it in this post.
What does it mean to take your time in a relationship?
We’ve all heard about slowing down a relationship that is progressing too quickly, but what about the opposite?
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What does it signify when a relationship is progressing too slowly?
“Taking things slow” might indicate many things depending on your relationship. For instance, some people may postpone getting engaged or married, and others may request more time before performing intimate actions.
The phrase “taking it slow” refers to a romantic relationship that is developing slowly. This could have to do with commitment, emotional ties, or physical intimacy.
If you both agree that your relationship is progressing quickly, then learning to move gently in a relationship will work.
In any case, if your spouse tells you that they want to take things slowly, it’s important to understand why.
In a relationship, how slow is too slow?
The question of how slow is too slow in a new relationship may leave you wondering.
It’s crucial to keep in mind that every relationship is unique and that we should never compare them when discussing them.
Relationships can change quickly. Even after only a few months of dating, some couples decide to get married. Some couples would rather take their time in a relationship.
Having stated that, the response is that it would rely on your comfort level. It’s fantastic if you both feel comfortable with a fast-paced relationship, but it’s equally acceptable if you prefer a slower pace.
But there’s also what we refer to as “too slow.”
It occurs when you feel that your partner is stalling, holding back, or constantly coming up with excuses to avoid moving forward, or when you find that your relationship has been stagnant for a long time.
According to Mert Şeker, a psychologist:
When partners’ emotional, physical, and social ties do not grow at a discernible rate, the relationship is said to be progressing “too slowly.”
The amount of time couples spend together, the rate at which they develop an emotional relationship, the frequency of their sexual encounters, and the regularity of their joint activities are some of the variables that may affect how severe this scenario is.
Even if we are unable to assign a particular number of days to each objective, you can label it as “too slow” if you feel that you are not making any progress and you believe you are stagnating.
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Ten indicators that the pace of your relationship is too slow
Although there isn’t a specific timeframe for delayed relationships, there are indicators that your relationship isn’t progressing normally.
In addition to your intuition, it’s helpful to know when a relationship is too slow.
1. You haven’t formally announced it.
While some people prefer to take their time in a relationship, there are other things that must be handled at a typical speed.
By this, what do we mean?
If you’ve been dating for months now, and you feel like you’re already a couple, but you still haven’t made it official.
You have been in this “relationship” for a few months, and you are already acting in ways that couples do, but it has no name.
Either you’re not interested in labelling “what you have,” or you’re advancing very slowly.
2. You haven’t met each other’s family members or friends.
You are right if you think that the reason your relationship is moving slowly is because you haven’t met each other’s friends or family.
You can formally announce that you are in a relationship by meeting the individuals who are closest to you.
It is typical for couples to meet each other’s families after a few months of dating, but waiting a year or longer would be regarded as being somewhat slow.
3. Your plans are only for the near future.
Some couples begin planning for the future after a few years of dating. Some decide to move live together, but others focus on their ambitions as a pair, such as thinking of a business or so.
But if you’re still making short-term goals after years of dating, you know your relationship is going slowly.
4. You don’t discuss the future.
If a couple is uncertain about the future or the person they are with, they may take their time. What if, despite years of dating, you never discuss your future plans?
This is one method of determining when a relationship is moving too slowly.
According to psychologist Mert Şeker:
Lack of discussion about the future can have a big impact on how quickly a relationship develops. Couples avoid talking about long-term objectives, plans, or commitments as a result of this dynamic. The relationship’s long-term stability and strength may be impacted by this communication breakdown.
Even while we’re not talking about more ambitious goals like marriage or having children, you can still discuss your future together.
5. You feel awkward discussing some aspects of your relationship.
Have you ever had the impression that your partner is avoiding particular subjects? Subjects like investments, marriage, or children?
That’s a little too quick, so you might want to learn how to take your time in a relationship if these subjects are brought up when you’re dating or getting to know someone.
However, it’s an indication that a relationship is going too slowly if you and your partner have been together for years and are making every effort to avoid talking about such things.
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6. You don’t seem to be developing as a couple.
One issue with guys who move slowly in relationships is that they don’t develop together.
Understanding that a healthy relationship should proceed at a typical speed is crucial. As a result, the partnership can grow together by learning new things and adapting to changes.
Based on his experience, psychologist Mert Şeker explains:
There are a number of reasons why a slow-moving relationship may not feel like it is progressing.
Partners may not be able to develop emotional depth and become more invested in each other’s development if they don’t communicate well. Couples’ feeling of progress may be weakened if they are unable to establish shared objectives or cooperate to reach them.
You become stuck and your growth slows down if you spend too many years in the dating stage. It occurs when you no longer perceive yourself developing together but instead separating.
A happy couple
7. There are many reasons not to proceed.
In addition to avoiding conversations about the future, you are aware that if there are constant excuses for why you are not reaching your goals in a relationship, it is too sluggish.
“We have to prioritize this job opportunity,”
“We must first save.”
“We need to enjoy life first. Take a trip and engage in activities together.
A couple could use these statements to explain to one another why they are not pursuing their relationship further.
8. You perceive selfishness
Selfishness may also be seen in a slow-moving relationship.
You are in a very slow-moving or stagnant relationship if one spouse does everything in their power to avoid commitment or to go forward without considering what their partner might think.
Sometimes, it’s sad to know your partner or someone close to you exhibits selfishness, but why do they do this?
Stephanie Lyn Coaching can assist you in comprehending this behaviour.
To find out more, view her video below.
9. The phrase “not yet ready” is always present.
Some people want to see if their relationship is progressing, while many others want to learn how to take it gently.
But when you’re trying to hint and you keep getting the “I’m not ready yet” response, you realise that slow is too slow in a relationship.
In certain situations, moving slowly is acceptable, but if it reaches a point where your relationship isn’t developing any farther, it’s not a good sign.
10. It seems like your relationship is moving extremely slowly.
In the end, you can sense when a relationship is moving too slowly. You can see you’re not going anywhere without having to compare.
You will eventually start to wonder if you are wasting your time waiting for nothing or if this relationship is going anywhere.
Here are five strategies for handling it.
It’s time to consider your options now that you are aware of the telltale signals that a relationship is moving too slowly.
Is it better to wait, break up, or get expert help?
Even though every relationship is unique, it’s still critical to understand these five strategies for handling a sluggish relationship.
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1. Recognise connections that move slowly
It is very acceptable to take your time in a relationship. In actuality, there are a lot of advantages to taking your time in a relationship.
For this reason, understanding the benefits and drawbacks of a slow-paced relationship is crucial. Next, assess your relationship and determine your place in it.
Are you in a relationship that moves slowly or have you lost interest in pursuing new things?
2. Interact
It is crucial that we speak with one another. It’s acceptable to avoid discussing your future goals as a pair while you’re still dating, but after a year or two, it becomes different.
Try your hardest to talk about your motivations, anxieties, and inhibitions. Discuss what motivates you, what holds you back, and your future goals.
Your relationship will remain stagnant if you don’t communicate with one another or keep avoiding these subjects.
3. Have greater patience
It’s crucial to be patient with one another after you have spoken and comprehended one another’s viewpoints.
It’s important to understand that if you’ve committed to improving and developing your relationship and have opened up, these changes won’t happen right away.
Small progress is nevertheless progress, even though it will take some time. Be more patient and encourage one another.
4. Pay attention to one another
Talking about slow-paced relationships usually entails feeling apart from one another. Spending time together is a good place to start if you are both dedicated to making changes and figuring things out together.
In addition, psychologist Mert Şeker clarifies:
Focussing on one another is essential for enhancing and developing the fundamental dynamics of a slow-moving relationship. This emphasis enables partners to develop mutual trust, deepen their emotional ties, and better understand one another.
Focussing is a procedure when partners pay close attention to one another, show empathy, and work on their communication abilities.
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Talk, go on another date, engage in activities, and much more. Your relationship timeline will be accelerated and your intimacy will be increased as a result.
A young couple during a treatment session
5. Get expert assistance
Seeking professional assistance may be necessary if all other attempts have failed, if you are unsure of how to begin communicating, or if you believe the other person is not cooperating.
Couples counselling is an excellent way to work through problems and provides the couple with important skills that they can use to deal with problems in the future.
FAQs
Some of the most frequently asked and debated questions about moving too slowly in a relationship are as follows:
In a relationship, do you advise going slowly?
It can also be smart to move slowly in a relationship. This is due to the fact that rushing through a relationship might result in miscommunications and blunders.
Keep in mind that developing a deeper relationship with someone takes time.
A deeper emotional bond can be formed between you and your lover if you both agree to take things slowly.
Before making significant life changes or commitments, it also enables you to learn about each other’s values, beliefs, hobbies, and a host of other things.
Just keep in mind that understanding whether a relationship is too slow is just as crucial. You can then determine when it’s too much.
In a relationship, is it possible to take things too slowly?
Indeed, it is possible to move too slowly in a relationship. Taking things slowly can help you and your spouse develop a strong emotional bond, as we all know by now. However, if it’s too slow, that’s a different story.
You run the risk of your relationship becoming stale and uninteresting if you’re moving too slowly, and you could even lose interest in it.
Additionally, it is possible to harbour insecurities and hatred.
Takeout
Be aware that you recognise when a relationship is too slow. It will assist you in figuring out whether your relationship is stagnating or whether you’re just taking things gently.
Keep in mind that striking a balance is crucial to a happy partnership. You and your relationship won’t benefit from either slow or quick dating.
Setting the right pace for your relationship can be achieved by improving your closeness, fortifying your bond, and having open communication.
In this manner, you are aware of when it is appropriate to discuss your future, when it is time to make plans, and how to get ready for those plans.
You’ll know when you’re ready to proceed with your relationship with confidence after you’re able to accomplish this.
