You may have had a lot of questions concerning your recurrent ex, such as “Is he attempting to mend things?” and “Is it possible he’s still in love with me?” or “Am I being taken advantage of?”
If you are unable to respond to these inquiries, the situation may become quite perplexing and painful. But that’s what this article is about. So, just unwind while you see why he keeps returning.
If he doesn’t want a relationship, you may wonder why he keeps returning. Is he simply confused, does he like reliving the hurt, or might he be your soulmate and that’s why he continues returning?
We shouldn’t get ahead of ourselves and start daydreaming about that. Rather, let’s examine specifics and data to address the question of why he keeps returning.
Nathaniel Branden, Ph.D., a speaker, a licensed psychotherapist, and the author of twenty books on psychology, may have some answers in his book The Psychology of Romantic Love.
Read more : 10 Irresistible Qualities That Make a Woman Fall Deeply in Love
When a man returns, what does it mean?
Let’s examine what it means for a man to continue to return after you end a relationship in order to prevent any more self-examination.
1. He is unsure of what he desires from you.
Why does he keep resurfacing in my life, if you ask me often? He is unsure of what he hopes to gain from the partnership. He’s not even sure whether he wants you.
He is only acting out of emotion and doing what he believes to be the best course of action right now, which is returning to you.
2. He isn’t prepared for anything significant.
He’s not ready for a serious relationship. A man may not want a committed relationship for a number of reasons. Perhaps it’s because
He still harbors feelings for his ex and fears being harmed again.
He is evading being restrained.
He lacks the maturity to manage a relationship.
He recently ended a romance.
Read more : 17 Confidence-Boosting Tips to Stop Being Shy in Your Relationship
3. He doesn’t like you enough to think about dating you.
Although it is difficult to hear, this is the reality. It’s not enough for him to commit to you or enter into a relationship just because he likes you.
He doesn’t really have time for you. He schedules meetings with you then abruptly cancels.
He keeps going and returning.
He fluctuates in his emotions all the time. He does this so effortlessly that he might be upbeat one moment and then turn apathetic the next.
His actions convey a different message than what he says with his words.
4. He feels alone.
Why does he keep going and returning? It is a result of his loneliness. He keeps returning because you are his greatest chance to escape the abyss of loneliness and you make him feel better.
5. He plays.
He’s only toying with you; as long as he has fun, he doesn’t care what happens to you. In order to grab as much as possible out of the relationship, he continues ghosting and returning.
Now that you know what it means when a man keeps returning but doesn’t want a relationship, let’s examine why and address any questions that may be bothering you.
Read more : 15 Honest Truths: Why Women Stop Responding After a Great Start
Conflicts between happy couples
What keeps guys returning? He keeps returning, so why won’t he commit to you? For you, this might be perplexing and sad. Even though it isn’t your fault, you might start to believe that. What is the issue, then, if it isn’t you?
1. He is unable to relate to you
It’s not your fault, therefore resist the urge to place the responsibility on yourself. He most likely had an incorrect or erroneous conception of love, and as a result, he finds it difficult to relate to the kind of love you are providing.
Another possibility is that he has experienced trauma in the past and is unable to move past it in order to establish a connection with you.
For a relationship to be healthy, you must be in good physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health. They all have a part in how well a partnership is doing. He needs to resolve this first if he is unable to connect with you or others.
2. He recently ended a relationship.
He recently ended a relationship and hasn’t moved on; this may prevent him from starting a new one. He isn’t ready to let go and is still quite heartbroken.
It can be difficult to move on from a relationship in which you had a close bond with the other person.
He has to start over now in an attempt to establish that connection with you, and he is not prepared for the difficult journey ahead.
“Bumpy” because, despite his best efforts, he is in a relationship with a stranger; things are different in this situation. He simply isn’t prepared, and he would make mistakes.
Read more : Dating Gold: 25 Traits That Prove He’s a Genuine Unicorn Man
3. He only finds you attractive.
He likely keeps returning because he is attracted to you. He appreciates your company and your sharp sense of humor. But to you, he simply feels attracted to you.
Even though you make him laugh and he likes your company, he is not interested in a committed relationship.
4. Why does he keep returning and then leaving?
He has trouble committing to you. Most likely, he is afraid to commit to you. Either he doesn’t want to be bound by you or he doesn’t want what happened in his previous relationship to happen again.
He might not want a relationship with you for these reasons. So why is he bothering to return?
15 Reasons why he keeps on coming back
Woman laying on bed with concerned man
There may be a few reasons why he keeps coming back to you, even when you do not seem to make any progress in this relationship.
1. You make it easy
This may hurt to hear or realize, but it’s a hard fact. He knows you have a soft spot for him, and you’ll always let him come back. He calls you one day and says he wants to have a little chat with you.
Easy, you agree and let him come to your house. He is relaxed, and it’s so easy to be with you, so he keeps coming back.
2. He’s being selfish with you
He knows how special you are, and he doesn’t want anyone else to have you. So he comes back just before you get the chance to get over him or just when someone new comes along.
He wants you for himself, but he isn’t ready to go into a relationship with you.
: Do You Have a Selfish Partner Test 3. He’s lonely
At one point or the other, we all get lonely, and we just want to spend that time in the company of someone likely to lift our spirits. This could be what is happening with him.
He doesn’t love you, but he comes back every time he leaves. He could be lonely. He knows you can be a great company, so he waltzes back into your life when loneliness sets in.
4. He has no clue about what he wants
He’s unsure of what he wants, but one thing is certain- he likes you. That’s why he keeps coming back but won’t commit. He doesn’t know if he wants a relationship and doesn’t know if he should stick around or just move on.
When he decides to move on, he realizes he misses you; then he returns. The conflict arises again, and it all becomes a cycle. Would you wait for him to make up his mind, and how long?
Is this fair to you, or would you rather just move on with your life and give someone that knows what he wants a chance?
5. You don’t want a serious relationship
Are you sincere with yourself? Do you want a relationship, or is your mouth just saying it? He has probably picked up on this contradiction, which makes him come and go out of your life, hoping that you are ready for one each time he returns.
6. He is not over you
Although you broke up, he isn’t over you, so he always comes back to you. He keeps coming back to show you that he still loves you and wants you back, hoping that things will pick up again.
Is Your Ex Over You Quiz 7. The feeling of guilt
He feels bad for breaking up with you and breaking your heart. He thinks back and sees that his reasons for leaving you weren’t tangible, so he feels guilty. In his bid to make up for it, he comes back to you and eventually wants to get back with you.
8. You distract him from his problems
Each time he’s in a fix, he comes to you and uses you to distract from his problems. Then, when he needs a break, he leaves
9. You are a rebound
Anytime he’s hurt, he just comes back to you and uses you as a shield from whatever pain he’s feeling. So being with you makes him feel better momentarily.
10. The intimacy is good
He comes back for good sex, and that’s it. But, on the other hand, he might enjoy the intimacy he has with you but is not interested in something more. This answers the question, “why does he keep coming back if he doesn’t love me?”
When a guy is serious about you and wants a relationship with you, he is honest with his feelings and wants you by his side.
11. He’s giving you another chance
He likes you, but he might feel like you aren’t ready for a relationship. So he doesn’t want to rush you and gives you space to decide if you want a relationship with him.
12. He doesn’t want a relationship
It is easy to wonder why does he keep coming back if he doesn’t want a relationship. Well, he likes you. He enjoys your company but isn’t ready for something serious.
A guy that feels this way will keep coming back to you but might not commit to you.
13. He doesn’t want to be tied down
He likes being with you, but the talk of a relationship pushes him away because he wants the freedom to meet other people too. He keeps coming back to you because he is interested in you but leaves because he doesn’t want to be tied down.
14. He has been hurt in the past
A guy that has been hurt in the past will likely not want a serious relationship. He enjoys your company but is scared of entering a relationship and getting hurt again.
He is reluctant to trust you and be vulnerable around you because of his past. But he also doesn’t want to let you go.
15. He is interested in playing mind games
A guy that comes into your life and leaves as it pleases him wants to control the relationship. He is interested in playing games with your feelings and wants to control the dynamics of the relationship.
Guys in this situation don’t want you to move on, nor will they offer you a healthy relationship. So this is one answer to the question, why does he keep coming back?
Read more : 20 Clear Signs an Alpha Male Likes You
How to deal with a recurring man?
1. Put yourself first
Are you being fair to yourself by allowing him back? Try to be more compassionate to yourself and see what effect letting him back would have on you.
2. Visit a therapist
Therapists can help you work through your feelings and see things more clearly. They can also hold you accountable when you want to end the off-again-on-again relationship.
3. Have an honest chat with him
It’s time to stop wondering why does he keep coming back and have an honest conversation with him. Find out what he wants to figure out if you guys want the same thing.
Communication is necessary for any relationship; watch this video if you want to know the keys to effective communication.
The conclusion
These are several answers to the question, why does he keep coming back? You can’t force a man to want a relationship with you, so it’s best you don’t get tied down in an off-again-on-again relationship.
If you don’t know the right step to take, contacting a therapist can help you work through your feelings.
