Self-awareness is the foundation of all wisdom. All those years ago, Aristotle wasn’t advising us to give in to introspection. He was urging us to live up to our principles, embrace our flaws, and learn from our mistakes. You can take control of your life and build greater connections when you have this self-awareness.
Knowing oneself
What is self-awareness, therefore, and why is it crucial? To put it simply, self-awareness is the ability to be aware of our interior world, including our moods, emotions, feelings, dreams, values, and beliefs.
In 1972, social psychologists Shelley Duval and Robert Wicklund published their hypothesis of self-awareness, which was the first to be formulated as a theory.
Daniel Goleman, a psychiatrist, introduced the concept to the corporate sector in 1995 with his book Emotional Intelligence and further studies. It’s interesting to note that psychologist Tasha Eurich has elaborated on the definition of self-awareness in her post on HBR.
Eurich discusses self-awareness in two ways. Knowing ourselves is the first step, and realising the discrepancy between our perception of ourselves and that of others is the second.
In partnerships, the second phase, where we bridge the gap, is especially crucial for self-awareness; otherwise, you run the risk of being overly self-centred.
More precisely, what makes self-awareness crucial? in order for you to bridge that gap and lessen the pain that the miscommunications within it have caused you.
Why is self-awareness necessary?
Because self-awareness teaches self-control and self-motivation, it is a prerequisite for emotional intelligence. Additionally, you become better at understanding your own feelings so that you may better comprehend those of others, which fosters empathy and enhances social skills.
According to Daniel Goleman, the four fundamental components of emotional intelligence are self-control, motivation, empathy, and social skills.
In summary, what is the significance of self-awareness? In order to become a wiser person who isn’t influenced by their emotions, you must develop emotional intelligence.
Staying in the present and knowing exactly who you are and what you need from life is made possible by leading a self-aware existence.
Because you know what you deserve, it makes it easy to let go of toxic people who drain your life.
Being self-aware makes it easier for you to grow from your errors. The best way to live a successful life is to cultivate a growth mentality, which may be achieved by combining self-awareness with optimism and self-assurance. When one has a growth mentality, errors are seen as teaching moments rather than failures.
Self-acceptance follows self-awareness. You become more accepting of your humanity and quiet your inner perfectionist when you begin to view your strengths and shortcomings for what they are.
Because you are aware of your needs, you also recognise your limitations and constraints. Additionally, you are logical, impartial, and capable of politely declining requests when necessary.
Being self-aware enables you to be who you are. Empathy and assertiveness are necessary for this.
Better productivity results from it, and you can more readily distinguish between reaction and proactivity since you have a better handle on your emotions. You also know where you can contribute the most.
Ten strategies that help love partners become more self-aware
Do you want your actions and emotions to be dictated by your subconscious? Although we believe we are in control, our lack of self-awareness causes us to become enmeshed in intense feelings, react, and say things we later come to regret.
Moreover, a lack of self-awareness frequently forces us to live up to the expectations of others.
How recently have you examined your daily life in light of your values? The values of wealth and power are the foundation of most Western societies. Unfortunately, despite having distinct values, a lot of people never stop the cycle.
In relationships, too. Why is self-awareness important? in order for your approaches to life to be in harmony. You will have a problem if, for instance, your partner values stability and consistency and you value adventure and taking risks.
1. Mindfulness
Understanding your inner world is the first step towards increasing self-awareness. Since the goal of meditation is to watch, or be aware, it is a very effective method for achieving this.
Although there are various varieties of meditation, most begin with a meditation object to sharpen your focus. With this focus, which varies depending on the type of meditation, you gradually begin to see through the cacophony of your inner dialogue.
The most widely practiced forms of meditation concentrate on the breath since it is simple and accessible to anyone. However, you are free to select anything you like. For instance, you can concentrate on your thoughts, sounds, physical sensations, or anything else your senses are able to detect.
You become more conscious of your thinking and emotion patterns the more you practise. You’ll begin to genuinely understand that neither your inner voice nor your emotions define who you are. You’ll grow more self-assured and tolerant of your identity with time.
2. Pose questions to yourself
The first step in developing self-awareness in a relationship is self-reflection or introspection. However, as Tara Eurich points out, the goal is to avoid becoming absorbed in oneself. However, self-reflection helps us discover meaning in our decisions and learn from our failures.
Asking yourself “what” will help you accomplish this. What, for example, is producing this unexpected increase in anxiety? How can I defuse this situation? We risk sinking into a pit of hopelessness when we ask ourselves “why” too frequently.
3. Maintain a diary
A woman in tears
Journaling can help you become much more self-aware in relationships. Writing allows you to access your subconscious and have a deeper understanding of your feelings and the behaviours that follow.
There are many different ways to keep a journal; you can write down your feelings and thoughts and begin to gain a better understanding of your behaviour. After that, you can go back in time and consider what you might have done differently in particular circumstances.
Christiana Njoku, LPC claims that:
Maintaining a journal of your feelings and thoughts will help you better understand yourself and build strong relationships with your partner.
4. Increase your novel reading
Reading novels is another way to increase self-awareness. Reading about other people’s life exposes you to a variety of viewpoints, which influences empathy. By doing so, you broaden your vocabulary regarding emotions, which facilitates the description of your own.
Furthermore, as this article explains, reading fiction fosters empathy and understanding and makes you more aware of the fact that other people have different goals and ideas. Even though it makes sense, reading enables you to trust your instincts. As a result, you’ll be able to respect your partner’s different opinions.
5. Make time and space
Making time each week for introspection is one way to increase self-awareness. Writing in a journal or taking some time to reflect doesn’t just happen. Whether it’s fifteen minutes at the end of the day or thirty minutes or more once a week, you must schedule it.
6. Engage in active listening
Being conscious of your prejudices and triggers is a key component of how to be more self-aware in a relationship. These are what prevent you from paying attention.
Instead, try to find a language that you both understand. Saying, “I need a pause because I’m having a background conversation,” is one example. Alternatively, may we discuss this at a later time? My inner voice is really active.
7. Examine your viewpoint
Being self-aware entails not trusting your inner guidance. Your ability to silence that voice and set aside your judgements increases with awareness. You gradually change the way you think and open up to the diverse experiences of others.
Thus, practise putting your beliefs in writing and seriously questioning them. Do they still service you, and how have they done so far? What could they be transformed into to be more useful?
Building relationships with people from many origins and cultures is a fantastic approach to have our beliefs tested. Why not take up some new interests that will help you get that exposure?
8. Obtain input
Feedback increases self-awareness in relationships. Receiving criticism is difficult, and the irony is that in order to genuinely embody criticism, awareness is required.
As this article on how neuroscience can assist us with feedback makes clear, our minds have a tendency to become defensive. Using breathing techniques to relax is one way to combat this. Reminding yourself that this isn’t personal is another option.
9. Recognise your virtues and good qualities
How vital is self awareness? It’s essential if you want to achieve that illusive bliss. Whilst happiness is simply a notion, the more you live to your ideals and liberate yourself from your thoughts and emotions, the more pleased you will be.
Determining your values and identifying your natural character strengths are the two essential exercises to begin your self-awareness path.
10. Locate a coach
Practicing self awareness needs work and patience. To keep us on course and away from self-absorption, we also need an ally and sounding board. A life coach or leadership coach is ready to help.
Seven ways that relationships are improved by self-awareness
How to become more self-aware
What makes self-awareness crucial in partnerships, then? to better handle disagreement and to match your goals with your life. Some of the key self awareness benefits lay in the fact that you’ll understand each other’s requirements and how to address them.
1. Encourages personal development
Why is self-awareness important? This is due to the fact that it is an ongoing, lifelong journey. There’s always more to discover about who we are, especially how we evolve throughout time.
You lose out on life if you don’t embark on this adventure. You never learn who you truly are and you never grow into the best version of yourself.
During his trial, Socrates famously remarked, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” He was referring to his accusers, who were consumed by ego, avarice, and self-interest. Do you want to end up like that?
2. Promotes feedback
Relationship conflicts are unavoidable, but being self-aware helps you respond more proactively and constructively to criticism and feedback. Furthermore, if handled properly, arguments don’t have to be interpreted as a sign of problems and can actually improve a relationship.
Rather, as you support one another’s development, self-awareness in relationships encourages co-exploration.
3. Fosters compassion and understanding
Relationships are crucial for self-awareness because the more you comprehend your own feelings and thoughts, the more you realise that everyone else feels the same way.
The specifics vary, of course, but over time, you learn to be kinder to your inner critic, which makes you friendlier to other people.
To learn useful techniques for practicing empathy, watch this video by Jamil Zaki, Director of the Stanford Social Neuroscience Lab:
4. Enhances your ability to listen
As we’ve just discussed, listening is reciprocal. You can stop projecting your biases onto other people as you grow more self-aware. Because you recognise that your viewpoint is but one example, you are more receptive to others.
5. Strengthens your bond
Benefits of self-awareness include fostering relationships, particularly with your partner. You may now make changes since you are more conscious of your actions and how they affect your partner. Similarly, you can stop passing judgement and assigning blame, which will create a more positive dynamic.
6. Develops fortitude
Your long-term happiness depends on your level of self-awareness. In general, life is difficult, and we require resilience to get through it. Being resilient means being able to bounce back from setbacks. Reminding yourself that mistakes happen and that life is difficult but that you have the inner strength to go on is simpler when you are more conscious.
Related Reading: 15 Strategies for Creating Resilient Bonds
7. Make yourself happy
How vital is self awareness? It will enable you to create a life that aligns with your ideals and surrounds you with like-minded individuals. Additionally, you will have the insight and empathy to choose the perfect partner with whom to share your dreams, as well as the ability to use your skills to realise them.
Become the most self-aware person you can be.
Let’s recap what self-awareness is and why it matters. Knowing our inner world and how others see us are two aspects of self-awareness. The likelihood that life will live up to our expectations increases as we reduce the gap between our self-perception and reality.
What makes self-awareness crucial in interpersonal relationships? This is so because self-awareness fosters resilience, empathy, and a growth attitude. Above all, you’ll be willing to learn from your partner’s mistakes and grow together. If we give the voyage our whole attention, it never ends and never ceases to amaze us.
“I knew who I was this morning but I’ve changed a few times since then,” Alice states in Alice in Wonderland. Continue asking questions and being Alice.
