For most people, regardless of gender, being in a romantic relationship and feeling the deep emotions of love is a big and life-changing adventure. Those days when love was only about fairy tales and grand gestures are over.
People, especially women, want more than simply fairy tales these days. They want to make strong, long-lasting relationships that last through time.
In today’s world of love and friendship, it’s typical for both men and women to engage in a subtle yet complicated dance of understanding and discovery. This is often called “testing,” and it happens when someone wants to learn more about a potential partner’s character, values, and intentions.
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But why do people put each other to the test? What does it mean when someone seems to be judging how you respond and react?
In this inquiry, we examine the complexities of these tests, concentrating on how women maneuver across this landscape in partnerships. We want to explain the underlying reasons, subtleties, and possible problems that come with this kind of testing.
But it’s important to look at this subject with a critical eye. Trust, open communication, and respect for each other are what make partnerships healthy and long-lasting. Instead of seeing encounters as exams, creating an environment of honest conversation to talk about worries and doubts typically leads to deeper and more meaningful relationships.
What does it signify when a girl is putting you through the wringer?
The truth is that most people who could be interested in dating you realize that someone will test them at some time in their adult life, and that’s fine. But what really drives them mad is that they don’t always know they’re being tested!
So, why is this significant for women?
Most women would test you since they perceive you as a potential lifetime companion. You may think of it as a difficult test that will show them what kind of person you are and whether or not you are the one she has been looking for.
This is something that men do also. They watch a possible partner to see if they are a good match. It’s just that women pay more attention to these examinations.
Some women “test” potential partners more than others, and there may be reasons for this. Some women merely want to know that you’re being honest, while others may have been in an abusive relationship and don’t want to make the same mistake again.
When a girl is “testing” you in a relationship, she might test your patience, loyalty, or how you react emotionally. But it’s important to remember that the idea of “testing” can cause problems in partnerships.
Trust, honest communication, and mutual respect are what make relationships healthy, not continually judging each other. Instead of seeing these kinds of actions as tests, it’s better to encourage open communication and talk about any worries or doubts directly to make the relationship healthier and more open.
13 signs that she is putting you to the test
Before we talk about how women test their potential mates, we need to make sure that you understand that there is a difference between a woman who wants to test you and one who doesn’t.
It’s really vital to know how to tell if she’s testing you so you don’t waste your time and energy. Here are the signals that she is testing you if you are ready:
1. She takes a long time to respond to your texts or doesn’t answer your calls.
“Is she testing me by not texting back?””
Yes, in some cases she is. She can be preoccupied with work or chores sometimes, but other times she might just be trying to see how you react.
She may have already read your text or heard your call, but she’s not responding right away on purpose to show you that she’s not just sitting around waiting for you.
She wants to know if you would think of her as a needy partner.
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2. She pays attention to how you act.
Is she observing what I do to her to see if I’m lying?
For sure! You need to know that manners are important since women are very observant. She wants to test if you would open the door for her or give her your coat when it gets cold.
She wants to make sure that you keep your word and do what you say you will do.
3. She won’t let him pay for everything.
She merely said she would pay half! Is this a test too? Sorry to break it to you, but it’s probably one of the ways she’s testing you.
It’s true that your girlfriend sometimes wants to split the bill, but other times she just wants to see how you react. Your girl only wants to see if you would grow used to splitting the bill with her and eventually becoming reliant.
She wants to know if you will take the deal or if you will insist on paying.
4. She makes it hard for him to get to her.
She’s not easy to get. Is this a test at all?
Another circumstance when she is trying you is when she is hard to get. It can be annoying when you can’t seem to get her to believe that you really care about her and want to be with her.
Before she can tell you and herself that she loves you, she has to know how serious you are about her and your relationship. So, she might pull away to see how you react.
5. She wants to know if you can be there for her when she needs you.
“She doesn’t need me, but now she does.”
Remember that when a woman asks for your aid, she might be trying to figure out if you are someone she might rely on.
She might not feel well and ask you to make her food or get her medicine. She just wants to know if you’ll be there for her when she needs you.
Read more : 15 Signs Your Partner Is a Keeper
Women want to know if they are a top priority in your life.
Two business people who don’t know each other well are at a hotel bar at night, drinking red wine and flirting.
6. She keeps talking about the same thing.
She keeps saying the same thing again and over.
If a girl has told you something more than once, she probably wants it.
If you listen, you’ll know, but don’t expect her to tell you right away. She most likely wants you to ask more about it and make the first step.
She wants you to read between the lines and see whether you know her.
7. She takes you to a location where you can be tempted.
She wants us to go to a party with a lot of pretty girls. It’s another test, isn’t it?
That’s right! She undoubtedly wants to know if you would check out gorgeous females or, worse, perhaps converse and be polite with them.
She only wants to know if you can resist the urge.
8. She changes her mind, cancels, or puts things off.
“She just cancels our plan out of the blue.”
Find out whether there is a good reason or if there was an emergency. If not, it’s likely one of the ways she’s testing your patience. If you really want to see her, you’ll find a method to do it, even if it’s romantic.
9. She introduces you to her family and friends.
She wants me to be friends with her family and friends. What does this test mean?
This is because these folks are really important to her. She wants to know what everyone thinks of you and your relationship. Of course, she cares about what they think.
10. She makes you go as far as you can.
I’m at my wit’s end! Why is she so hard to deal with and unreasonable?
Sometimes, you may feel like your girlfriend is having a tantrum and that she is testing your patience – you’re correct. She might be trying to see how you would react if she put you under a lot of stress.
For instance, she might keep sending you texts about a conflict or something that worries you. This could be one of the signals she is testing you through texting. She wants to see how you would react if she tested your patience.
11. She doesn’t want to get close.
She won’t let me get close to her.
When she avoids any kind of intimacy, it’s a sign that she’s testing you.
If she’s thinking about getting married, a man who merely wants to be physically close to her won’t be a good companion. She’ll watch whether you get impatient or change how you treat her if you don’t get close to her.
She wants to know what you really want. Are you just messing about, or are you the real deal?
12. She wants to know what you want to do in the future.
She wants to know what I want to do with my life and what my ambitions are. What does this mean?
If your girlfriend starts asking you about your goals, objectives, or even your dreams, it suggests she sees you as a possible companion for life.
She wants to feel safe with the man who will help her make her dreams come true.
13. She wants to learn more about your past.
She is really curious about my past. Is this a test too?
The answer is a clear YES! When she asks about your past, she is merely trying to learn more about your former relationships. She also wants to know if you still have feelings for them or if you’ve moved on.
14. She keeps an eye on what you do on social media.
If she checks your likes, comments, or follows on social media a lot, it could mean that she’s trying to figure out how interested you are in her life. She might be interested in your online interactions as a way to see how involved you are in the relationship or if you’re making connections with other people.
To keep trust and understanding in the relationship, it’s important to talk openly about privacy issues and limits on social media.
15. She puts you up against other people.
One technique to test you is when someone in a relationship talks about their friends or prior partners and quietly judges your attributes or behavior against theirs. This action can suggest insecurity or a desire for confirmation about your compatibility.
For example, she could say, “My ex always knew how to deal with things like this,” or “My friend’s partner is so caring.” By making these comparisons, she wants to determine if you fulfill her standards or preferences.
16. She pushes your limits
When you test your boundaries, you push the limits of what you feel comfortable with in a relationship on purpose.
For instance, your spouse can often ask you to do things that make you uncomfortable, like lending them a lot of money or searching through your personal stuff to invade your privacy.
This conduct is meant to see how far you’re willing to go in the relationship or how strong your boundaries are. In the end, it tests your level of commitment and the strength of your boundaries. It’s crucial to be honest when you don’t like these kinds of requests to keep your relationship strong.
17. She throws unforeseen problems at you.
When one person creates problems on purpose to see how their spouse handles them, these are called “unexpected challenges.”
For example, putting your partner in a fake financial crisis or starting a fight out of the blue to watch how they react can be seen as an unexpected challenge. It’s a way to see how emotionally strong someone is, how well they can solve problems, and how helpful they are when things go rough.
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But you should be careful with these kinds of tests for women and make sure to talk about them openly afterward to avoid misunderstandings or hurting the relationship.
Keep in mind that not everyone does these things, and they might be highly different from one individual to the next.
Instead of thinking that someone is testing you, try talking to them openly and honestly to find out what they need, what worries them, and what they expect from the connection. Trust and straightforward communication are important to creating a healthy and strong connection.
How do you get her to like you in these tests?
Don’t put pressure on yourself. You won’t have time to enjoy your relationship if you do. As a recommendation, instead of showing her what she wants to see, just learn to understand any circumstance and behave accordingly.
Start by listening to her; then, you will have an idea about her personality, what she likes and hates, and what she’s scared of.
Once you know this, you’ll know how to answer her “tests” and eventually pass them, showing her that you’re the right person for her.
It’s important to talk to each other honestly and openly in a healthy relationship instead of playing games or “winning” someone over during tests. Here are seven ways to deal with problems and tests in a relationship with maturity and empathy:
1. Be patient and calm.
It’s really important to stay calm during tests. If she makes you wait on purpose, for example, don’t get mad and confront her. Just go with the flow. Being calm and patient demonstrates that you are emotionally mature and can help calm down uncomfortable circumstances.
2. Listening with attention
Christiana Njoku, a Licensed Professional Counselor and Relationship Coach, says that
Every woman wants to be with a man who is willing to listen to what she has to say and reply in a way that makes sense. As a man, putting in extra effort to add to what she’s saying at that moment is another positive.
When you actively listen, you don’t interrupt or make snap judgments about what she’s saying. For instance, if she brings up a former relationship, listen intently to understand her sentiments and concerns. Say something like, “I can understand why that experience might still affect you,” to show that you care.
3. Communication
Start a conversation to talk about the problem. What if she tests your commitment by bringing up the idea of breaking up? In that instance, politely express your wish to comprehend her sentiments and explore where the relationship is headed. Avoid defensive or accusatory language and focus on finding answers together.
4. Feeling for others
To understand her point of view, think about what it would be like to be her. For instance, if she brings up an admirer to see how jealous you are, understand that she needs to be reassured. You may say, “I know you might need to feel wanted, but I want you to know how much you mean to me.”
5. Help
Counsellor Christiana Njoku highlights,
A healthy relationship entails supporting and caring for one another, both emotionally and practically and for her to be sure of your support, you need to show you are supportive of her.
When she’s feeling weak, be there for her emotionally. If she puts you to the test by making a situation where she needs help, be there for her right away. This shows that you are willing to be a helpful partner when things go tough.
6. Set borders
If her testing go too far or make you uncomfortable, politely tell her what your limitations are.
If she keeps canceling plans at the last minute, for example, you could remark, “I know things come up sometimes, but I’d like it if we could stick to our plans or let me know about changes sooner.”
7. Always the same
Be dependable in what you say and do. If she wants to see if she can trust you, keep your promises and always do what you say you would do. Being dependable and consistent helps people trust and have faith in the relationship.
Keep in mind that these methods should be used to build a healthy, open, and communicative connection, not to trick or “win” someone over. The most important thing in every relationship should be to build trust, respect, and an emotional connection.
Questions that people often ask
It’s normal for partnerships to have times when things are unclear and need to be tested. Here are short answers to some common questions about testing in relationships:
Is she trying to see how much I care by pushing away?
It could be an indication of personal problems or a need for space when a girl draws away. Instead of thinking it’s a test, it’s important to talk to her openly to find out how she feels and what worries her. Trust and talking to each other are important for healthy relationships.
How can a female try your patience?
A female could try your patience by doing things that make you angry, like canceling plans or not talking to you. The most important thing is to be cool and analyze what’s going on. Talk about the problem instead of responding on impulse.
What are some common things that guys do wrong when a woman tests them?
Getting angry, playing games, or behaving defensively are all common faults people do when they take tests. These answers might cause confusion and hurt the relationship. It’s best to reply with understanding, patience, and clear communication.
Is testing someone in a relationship healthy?
It’s normal for people in a relationship to test each other from time to time, such to see how well they get along or how they react. But too much or dishonest testing can be bad. Not constant testing, but trust, communication, and respect are what make partnerships healthy.
Is it a good thing if a female is testing you?
Testing can help us understand one other better, but we should do it in moderation and with respect. Excessive or deliberate testing might harm the connection. It’s crucial to talk to each other and make sure that both parties feel respected and safe in the relationship.
Final thoughts
In the complex world of relationships, everyone has their own style of understanding and showing how they feel.
People test their potential partners in different ways based on things like their prior experiences, personal traumas, doubts, and problems with self-esteem. It’s important to be kind and open to listen and understand during these times.
To get through these examinations, pay close attention to the indicators that she is testing you and be honest in your answers. In the end, both parties should have a chance to show that they are real and develop a lasting relationship based on respect, open communication, and real closeness.
It’s not about “winning” someone over; it’s about building a healthy and caring relationship based on trust and understanding.
