Today, the typical person who gets married faces roughly a 40% chance of eventual divorce. That’s lower than the oft-quoted “50%” statistic, but the reality is more complicated — and there are several reasons for the confusion.
Fewer people marry now than in previous decades, and the way researchers calculate divorce rates varies. The 50% figure is an average that masks important differences: people entering second marriages have divorce rates well above 60%, and the rate rises further with third marriages. Different studies use different methods, populations and timeframes, so pinning down a single, definitive percentage is tricky. The takeaway, though, is plain: divorce is common enough to be worth taking seriously, and there’s a lot of research into why couples split.
Many couples meet in college and go on to marry — often around graduation. Those relationships fit neatly into romantic narratives: two students meet, share classes and late-night study sessions, build memories together, and then get married. But those college unions are also part of the divorce statistics.
Why marrying your college love deserves careful thought
Talking about this isn’t meant to kill romance — college relationships can be wonderful — but there are legitimate reasons to pause before turning youthful romance into a lifetime commitment. Below are five things to consider.
1. College life is its own world
College can feel idyllic: newfound independence, fewer day-to-day responsibilities, and a social environment that’s built for experimentation and connection. Living and loving inside that bubble is very different from navigating adult life with full-time jobs, bills, family obligations and long-term commitments. In college you might eat, study and sleep in the same rhythms as your partner; outside of school, stresses and routines shift, and couples sometimes discover they react very differently to those pressures.
As Maggie Martinez, LCSW, points out: when you’re in college, many of your responsibilities don’t mirror those of full adult life.
2. Different backgrounds become more visible over time
College brings together people from widely varying family norms, cultural traditions and value systems. On campus, those differences often don’t matter much — schedules, shared groups and campus life can smooth over mismatches. Once you leave school, however, differing priorities and background “baggage” can re-emerge and create friction. What didn’t seem important during classes and campus events may become a source of conflict in everyday adult life.
3. Your relationship may be idealized by others (and by you)
Friends and classmates often root for a “cute couple.” That external validation can pressure you into believing the relationship is destined to last, even if you have doubts. When the supportive campus culture and cheering friends are gone, the relationship has to stand on its own. Marriage reshuffles the context; what looked perfect under campus spotlights can look very different in the quieter routines of married life.
4. Career paths might pull you in different directions
In college you’re both primarily students — maybe juggling internships or part-time work. After graduation, careers start to steer your lives. One partner may want a predictable, home-centered routine; the other may pursue a career that requires travel, long hours, or relocation. Those conflicts aren’t small: deciding whether one person should sacrifice career goals for the other is a common and painful source of marital strain.
5. You’ll meet other people as you grow — and you’ll change
Post-graduation life opens new social and professional circles. It’s normal to meet other people who feel exciting or more in tune with your emerging adult identity. As you build a life outside the campus, both partners often grow in ways that weren’t predictable in college. Maggie Martinez notes that there’s a lot of personal development after college, and it’s entirely possible to outgrow a partner you once felt very close to.
