We all know what these things are. We might have been in one ourselves. A rebound relationship is one we start right after ending a really significant one.
There are clear stages of a rebound relationship that we should look at, whether we ended the last one or were the one who was left.
What are the stages of a rebound relationship, and why should we care about them?
To learn more about the same, keep reading!
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What does it mean to be in a rebound relationship?
It’s crucial to note that a rebound relationship is one that starts relatively soon after a long-term, committed love relationship ends. People who were dumped are the most likely to have a rebound relationship.
This is because the person who was dumped is usually stressed out and feels bad about themselves. They don’t feel good about themselves anymore. One way to deal with things is to get into a rebound relationship.
LCSW Maggie Martinez says
In a rebound relationship, the other person can often make the person who just broke up feel more attractive, confident, and good about themselves.
There are clear stages in a rebound relationship. At first, the person who ended the relationship wants to keep all the feelings they had in that previous serious relationship.
What normally happens in a relationship that starts up again?
There is frequently no resolution in a rebound relationship. This could also be a symptom that a rebound relationship isn’t going well. The person goes into the new relationship without thinking about how they feel about the breakup and the loss.
They want to avoid the pain and disappointment that comes with getting into a new relationship without thinking about it first. This makes it impossible for one person to think about themselves, which is something that needs to happen.
But in a lot of cases, making new connections can help you feel less anxious and heal faster.
Can relationships that start over work out in the long run?
You quickly get into a new relationship so you can feel those familiar feelings of being wanted, desired, and maybe even loved. This is nice.
But because you are provoking these emotions artificially with a person you have no history with, the rebound relationship success rate is not high. A study shows that 90 percent of the rebound relationships fail within three months.
In a normal relationship timeline, it takes time to lay the groundwork for deep love to take root. Just as it takes time to grow love, it takes time to get over a former relationship. But there are those that rush through the phases of a rebound relationship at lightning speed, making their chances of building a successful, long-lasting relationship very low.
The rebound relationship psychology
Are you one of those people who always has to have a partner? Do you subscribe to the theory “the best way to get over someone you loved is to get under someone new?” If so, you may want to know a little more about rebound relationship psychology.
You may be fearful of being alone
You are not over your ex
You may have a need to always have an admirer and a partner’s attention
You feel incomplete without someone at your side
You may be jumping from relationship to relationship to show your ex that you can attract others
You have not developed your own sense of self-love and self-esteem and rely on a partner to make you feel worthy.
Rebound relationship psychology tells us that if you are not forthright with your new partner, you may do emotional damage to them. You harbor unresolved anger and resentment at your former partner, and this will come out in the rebound relationship.
You may not be “present” in the rebound relationship because your former partner is still in your mind. You have not gone through the proper stages of getting over someone and still have a deep attachment to them.
This puts the ‘rebound partner’ in an uncomfortable position if they are unaware of your psychological state.
Read more : Dating Men With Low Self-Esteem: 13 Things to Know
Maggie Martinez further adds,
The rebound partner might also be confused if you are engaging in activities considered ‘love bombing’ or showering them with affection and love quickly.
Learn about the science of rebound in the video below:
6 stages of a rebound relationship
Young Attractive Couple Having Video Confrencing On Laptop At Home
A rebound relationship occurs before one is completely over one’s ex. The rebound relationship serves to fill the emotional and physical void created by the breakup. It gives one a sense of stability as well as a distraction from the hurt of the breakup.
Sometimes the partners in the rebound relationship are not even aware, consciously, that the relationship is a rebound relationship. If you see yourself in any of the following rebound relationship stages, chances are you are in a rebound relationship.
Now let us look at the six rebound relationship stages.
Stage one: You feel cut off from reaching your partner emotionally
If you sense your partner is shut down emotionally, chances are they are rebounding from a former relationship. This is an ugly truth about rebound relationships- the rebounder will not allow themselves to open up to the new partner.
They know, consciously or subconsciously, that this relationship is not going to be a lasting one. Why open up emotionally when this is merely a rebound?
In rebound relationship stage one, the relationship is often very casual and is centered around sex . There is little interest in building something solid and enduring.
Stage two: They talk a lot about their ex
In this second of rebound stages, your partner seems to constantly bring up their ex.
They wonder aloud what the ex is doing, whom they might be seeing. Do they continue to interact with their ex on social media platforms?
It may be that they are rebounding with you and not over their former partner. Be wary if you are seeking a long-term relationship with this person, as rebound relationships success rates are not impressive.
Stage three: You are excited to be dating someone new
You are excited to be dating someone new. But you are getting a sense that this relationship is not moving forward. It appears a bit stagnant. Your new partner may cancel plans at the last minute and not even apologize.
They may seem less invested in taking this new relationship to the next phase. You are stuck on the relationship stages timeline in a holding pattern. You aren’t hitting the normal relationship milestones, such as being introduced to their group of friends and their family, making plans for a vacation together, being open on social media about your new relationship status. These are signs that you may be in a rebound relationship.
Stage four: They get very upset when talking about their ex
In stage four of rebound relationship stages, you will notice that your new partner has strong emotions when the subject of their ex comes up.
They may show anger, resentment, and hurt. They may call their ex by derogatory names. It is clear that they have not worked through this past relationship.
Maggie Martinez comments here,
This is probably one of the biggest red flags and something to highlight and discuss with the person as soon as you notice.
They still have a lot of memories and feelings about the ex, which points to this current relationship being a rebound one.
You haven’t met their friends, their family, their work colleagues.
And there are no plans in place to introduce you to them. You and your new partner see each other in your own little bubble, just the two of you.
In a normal relationship timeline, there are certain points in the relationship where it becomes natural and evident that you should meet their friends and children (should they have children). This shows that they consider you an integral part of their life.
If your partner never brings up the subject of meeting their close friends or hems and haws when you broach the subject, you can assume that you are in a rebound relationship. Keeping you separate from the other parts of their life means this relationship is not going to go the distance.
In a rebound relationship, there are few shared, common emotions. The person rebounding is, in essence, on a path to self-healing and using the relationship to put to rest the previous relationship.
If you get a sense that your feelings of like, love, attachment, and closeness are not being reciprocated, you are probably in a rebound relationship.
How long does the rebound relationship last?
Happy couple sitting on sofa
Whether or not relationship rebounds will work out depends a lot on the rebounder. Considering they have just been out of the relationship, it could be difficult for them to put in that amount of time and effort into the relationship.
There’s no rebound relationship timeline. However, an average rebound relationship is believed to last between one month to a year. It all depends on the chemistry, compatibility and willingness.
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Wrapping up
As you move with dating on the rebound, do keep in mind that not all rebound relationships are bad relationships.
On the contrary, if you and your partner keep good communication at all points of the rebound relationship stages, a rebound relationship can do you a lot of good.
Like waving white sage around a home that needs spiritual cleansing, a rebound relationship can reset you and help you get over your former partner. Rebound relationships can be both a healing mechanism and a salve to the hurt you endured.
But it is important that you are upfront with your new partner about what your intentions are and what you are seeking in this new relationship. Anything else would be unfair to them.
