Whether you’re about to get married or want to strengthen a marriage you’re already in, understanding the core principles that keep couples together matters. Get these fundamentals right and you’ll be on a much steadier path.
These principles act like a roadmap — they help couples build a solid foundation and give you tools to navigate the rough patches that inevitably come with marriage.
If you’re already married, you know marriage takes effort. If you’re new to it, you’ll want to learn what really helps a relationship thrive. Below are seven essential principles to hold onto if you want your marriage to work.
Principles of a good marriage
American psychologist Dr. John Gottman, in his book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, lays out timeless rules that strengthen companionship and trust between partners.
Gottman emphasizes growing your fondness for — and being shaped by — your partner’s traits. That steady, familiar bond becomes a protective buffer for your marriage.
He also stresses tackling both the small and big problems together and leaning on each other when times are tough. Those ideas are central to the principles that help marriages survive and flourish.
Marriage takes work, and it can be hard to know which habits truly make a difference. Use the principles below as practical, everyday tools to improve your marriage.
Key principles of marriage
Principles turn complicated relationships into simpler, actionable guides. They offer clear ways to protect the health of your marriage and keep the connection alive.
Making marriage work requires commitment and the willingness to improve things together. Think of the principles below as checklists you can return to — honest yardsticks for measuring your partnership.
1. Communicate
Good communication is the backbone of any relationship. More often than not, it’s poor communication — or avoidance — that erodes a marriage.
The simple, powerful practice of talking openly can transform your relationship. Too many couples let issues sit unspoken until they pile up into something much bigger.
Maggie Martinez, a licensed clinical social worker, points out:
“When we avoid core issues, we find the issues begin to pile up and create an even bigger problem.”
Avoidance might feel easier in the moment, but it usually makes things worse over time. Try to resolve issues before they snowball.
To improve communication, notice what helps your partner open up and what shuts them down. Make a short list of dos and don’ts — then practice the behaviors that encourage honest, calm conversations.
2. Give each other space
The idea of giving one another space may seem odd to some, but for many people personal time is essential and non-negotiable.
Personal space isn’t a threat to love — it’s a healthy necessity. If your partner asks for time alone, don’t take it as a rejection; respect it as their right.
Maggie Martinez adds:
“People say absence makes the heart grow fonder and it’s true. When you give yourself some healthy distance between you and your partner, your relationship can thrive.”
A little time apart helps both partners recharge, miss each other, and return with fresh energy. Try scheduling solo days or encouraging nights out with friends — you may be surprised how much it benefits your connection.
Related Reading: Let There Be Some Space in Your Relationship
3. Build trust
Trust is the foundation of every lasting relationship — especially marriage. Without trust, the purpose of a relationship becomes shaky.
Trust often takes long to build and can be lost in an instant, which is why it’s one of the most important principles to protect in a marriage.
Have clear conversations about boundaries so both of you know what’s acceptable and what isn’t. When you’re aligned on expectations, it’s much easier to act in ways that preserve trust.
Related Reading: Setting Healthy Boundaries in a Relationship
4. Mutual respect
Respect is a basic human right and an essential pillar in marriage. Without mutual respect, disagreements quickly turn corrosive.
When partners respect one another, they’re more likely to moderate hurtful behavior and maintain dignity — even during conflict. Disrespect, on the other hand, breeds resentment and long-term damage.
Make respect a rule you never break: listen without contempt, speak kindly even when you disagree, and protect each other’s dignity.
5. Spend quality time together
Notice the word: quality time — not just time. An hour sitting side-by-side watching TV doesn’t equal a meaningful hour spent connecting over a cup of tea and a real conversation.
Carving out time for each other sends a powerful message: you matter. A short, focused talk about your day is far more valuable than hours of distracted presence.
Research shows quality time reduces stress and strengthens relationships. Try a daily check-in after work — put phones away, ask about each other’s day, and listen. Small rituals like this help your partner feel seen and appreciated.
Related Reading: 11 Ways to Have Quality Time With Your Partner
6. Love
Love is usually why people choose marriage to begin with, and it remains a central reason to stay committed.
Love inspires us to do unexpected, generous things and to put our partner’s needs alongside our own. But feelings can fade if you let love become routine or take your partner for granted.
Keep the spark alive with simple gestures: a surprise “I love you” text, an unexpected compliment, or a small act of kindness. Those tiny moments add up and remind your partner they’re cherished.
Watch this video to learn more about the little gestures that can make a big difference in your marriage.
7. Be patient and willing to compromise
If you think marriage means getting your way all the time, think again. No relationship is perfect; both partners must be ready to bend and meet halfway.
Compromise is part of married life, and research shows it strengthens relationships when done respectfully.
You won’t always get what you want. Sometimes patience and a willingness to yield for the relationship’s sake will save more than insisting on your own way. Small sacrifices now can lead to a much happier long-term partnership.
If your marriage is struggling but you want to try again, remember that rebuilding takes time and steady effort. Maggie Martinez reminds us:
“It is never too late to try and strengthen your marriage.”
Don’t expect overnight fixes. Be patient, keep putting in the work, and stay committed to the process.
Conclusion
These seven principles offer practical direction for any marriage. When your relationship’s foundation rests on communication, space, trust, respect, quality time, love, and patience, it stands a much better chance of lasting.
