Any couple who intends to get married is advised to seek premarital therapy in order to better prepare for the changes that marriage will bring about in their relationship. It can be rather advantageous.
The first year of marriage is a time of change and presents difficulties, regardless of the efforts made by one partner to improve the likelihood of a happy marriage or the strong foundation a couple may have built. Even a couple who lived together before getting married can nevertheless face difficulties. This list includes some of the most prevalent bad encounters, but it is not exhaustive.
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After the honeymoon
There has been a lot of excitement and expectation for the wedding day in the lead-up to the actual event. In contrast to the glamour and sparkle of the wedding and vacation, the reality of marriage can be very drab when a couple returns from a fun or restful honeymoon. This may lead to some disappointment.
Distinct expectations
When it comes to playing the roles of “husband” and “wife,” partners might not agree. Shared household duties will be expected; once married, there may be a shift to more traditional gender roles, which can also cause conflict. Newlyweds frequently fight about how to handle their finances (joint versus separate bank accounts) and how often they will have sex.
The amount of time spent together could be another place where expectations diverge. It might be challenging to strike a healthy balance between being together and being apart. The other spouse might not be as willing to alter their priorities and way of life after marriage, while some spouses might anticipate to be given greater importance and to have their spouse spend more time with them or at home after they are no longer bachelors or bachelorettes.
When dating, people often don’t be their best selves because they’re afraid their partner will reject them if they find out about their shortcomings. One or both couples may unconsciously assume they are free to show more of who they really are once the ring is on the finger. Their spouse could believe they were the victim of a “bait and switch” and have been duped. When one does not feel they truly know the person they have committed their life to, it can be a difficult moment.
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Self-care might also take a back seat after the wedding. Perhaps after marriage, one no longer feels the need to maintain their beauty or take care of oneself as much as they did before the pressure to look their best for the wedding or when they were more focused on being appealing to their partner for fear of losing interest. While looks is undoubtedly not everything, a decline in self-care can contribute to marital problems in a number of ways. Maintaining good hygiene, eating a balanced diet, and exercising are all vital for one’s mental health, and each spouse’s mental health affects the quality of the marriage.
The rose-colored spectacles are removed.
Even though a person’s spouse may not change, they may become irritated by their new spouse’s peculiarities and personality traits if they were previously more understanding. When considering how to deal with these issues in the long run, they may become more annoying.
In-laws
There is now a new (in-law) family for both couples. It might be difficult to know how to deal with new in-laws since they might feel more entitled to interfere in the relationship or because a pre-existing issue might only get worse after the wedding. Loyalty will be put to the test when a new spouse and their family dispute, and one may feel compelled to choose sides.
Here are some general tips to assist you get through the first year of marriage while overcoming the aforementioned or other difficulties.
Look for a solution
Don’t fall into the trap of hoping that things will go away or sort themselves out. Conflict is unpleasant for everyone, but it will be easier to settle if it is addressed when
It is minor instead of having grown into a major issue. Choosing to be happy instead of right and negotiating are two examples of resolution.
Develop your communication skills
Express one’s ideas, opinions, expectations, and desires in a polite and assertive manner. No partner can read minds. Listening is as simple as
Being a good listener is just as vital to communication as sharing.
Keep things in perspective.
This involves each other and the marriage. It’s really simple to grow smug and unappreciative. Determine the most effective way to express love, affection, and gratitude to your partner, and do it often.
Establish sensible limits.
Dealing with in-laws and other such meddlers might also benefit from having good communication skills. Since not everyone will be impartial and objective, one should exercise caution when choosing which people from outside the marriage to confide in about marital difficulties.
Seek expert assistance.
Getting treatment is never too early, but regrettably, there are instances when it is too late. Many couples put off getting marital counseling until after years of disagreement and discontent. Sometimes too much harm (resentment, loss of love) has been done by then, and they are frequently on the verge of divorce. Spouses can benefit greatly from the objective, neutral viewpoint that a qualified therapist can provide when working through all of the aforementioned issues.
A happy marriage requires effort, just like anything else that is worthwhile. Be prepared to work for it.
Knowledge is power, so ideally the information presented identifies possible (though not necessarily inevitable) problems to watch out for in the first year of marriage and strategies to address them as soon as possible.
