Determining when you’re ready to start dating again can be even more difficult than going through a breakup.
Reentering the dating scene isn’t always simple, though; doing so before you’re ready can lead to rebound relationships, confidence boosts, and projecting your own problems onto the new person you’re dating.
But how can you tell when you’re prepared? When should I resume dating?
Fortunately, we know the answers. The questions that help you decide whether you’re ready for a relationship, anyway.
To determine if you’re prepared to resume dating, you should ask yourself the following five questions: The response is up to you.
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1. Have you moved on from your past partner?
Whether you have moved on from your past relationship is one of the first things you should ask yourself. Before you start dating again, you should definitely make sure that you’ve come to terms with the loss of a long-term relationship or a marriage, especially if it ended recently.
Making space for your new relationship is essential, and you can’t do that if you’re still dwelling on the past and worrying about what went wrong in your previous one.
This can be particularly challenging if you feel that the relationship ended too soon or if it didn’t end on your terms. After you’ve developed a close bond with someone and shared a life with them, it can be very hard to let go.
The good news is that you can open your heart to a new person and rediscover happiness and serenity without that person.
You just need to do it in your own time, once you have healed and made peace with the past. Then you can look to the future and begin to date again.
2. Have you recovered your sense of self?
When we come out of any serious long-term relationship, we can often feel like we’ve lost part of ourselves.
We’ve spent so long as part of a couple and defined ourselves as such, that it can feel like you don’t know who you are anymore without that person. And that journey toward finding yourself again is hard.
It’s not impossible though.
But, before mapping out how to start dating again, you need to take time to reconnect with your inner self — to find out what you want and need, on your own terms.
Instead of worrying about others, practice self-love: nourish your mind and body, accept all of your emotions and embrace yourself.
Sometimes, you might need professional help from a therapist or life coach as well as your own strength and support from friends. Don’t be ashamed about this: professionals can help you learn to love yourself again — working with you to help you heal and rebuild your self-worth.
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However, you do it as finding your sense of self before dating again is a must. You don’t want to fall into the habit of relying on others to give you worth. That also answers how long to wait before dating again as there is no particular deadline to hang upon.
Remember that self-love is the key to finding happiness with another person as you can’t love others before you know how to love and accept yourself first. So first, cultivate a relationship with yourself.
3. Do you know what you want?
This question sounds easier to answer than it actually is — do you know what you want from your dating experiences? I mean, really?
You might think that you want to enjoy casual dating and chatting to a few different people, when in fact, you’re yearning to settle back into a stable relationship.
Or you could think that you’re ready to commit again when you actually just need to make the most of your newfound singleness and try a bunch of no-strings dates instead.
There’s no judgment either way — we’re all different, with different desires. Having said that you need to do some serious soul-searching, “am I ready to start dating again”, or am I ready for a relationship?” would be good questions to start with.
It’s about finding the right thing for you at this moment in time, whether it’s having fun or admitting that you’re ready for a serious relationship.
Answering this question will help you to get the most out of dating, and find what you’re looking for. It also means that you can be more honest with the people once you start dating again and will be less likely to hurt their feelings along the way.
4. Are you dating for the right reasons?
Shy Woman And Man Sitting On Sofa Couch Next Each Other First DateThere are all sorts of reasons why people start dating again after a big breakup, and it’s not always to find happiness again.
Breakups are a huge, emotional upheaval in our lives, and they can seriously mess with our heads. This means that you might act differently to how you normally do — acting on impulse, being reckless, or ignoring your emotions.
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You might want to start dating again as a way of burying your feelings or as a quick fix; if you’re dating again, then you must be okay, right?!
Perhaps you think that getting back on the dating scene — in a public way — will help you to “get back” at your ex after you have done a Facebook surveillance of your former partner, or prove that you’re handling the break-up fine.
We don’t need to tell you that this probably isn’t the healthiest way of dealing with a broken heart and a bruised ego.
Also, watch this interesting video on the stages after a breakup:
When you’re thinking about dating again, ask yourself why and make sure that your intentions are good.
You owe it to yourself and the next person you’re going to be dating.
5. Do you have enough time and energy?
Perhaps this sounds like a weird question, but it still stands: do you have enough time and energy for dating?
We’re not asking you to jump into a full-blown long term relationship right away, but dating takes effort. Whether you’re trying online dating for the first time or heading out for a blind date, chatting to complete strangers and forging new connections is hard work.
You need to make sure that you’ve got enough energy and time to commit to dating again before you do.
Otherwise, the prospect of talking to new people, browsing those profiles, and going on dates will seem overwhelming, which means you’re more likely to freak out and bail.
These are five questions that you need to ask yourself to figure out if you’re ready to start dating again. If the answer to all of them is yes, then get out there and start dating again!
