Have you ever found out that someone was pursuing you after you were interested in them and assumed it was a reciprocal relationship? They appeared to be dedicated, so it would be difficult to find out they weren’t interested in you.
The question, “What is breadcrumbing?” No matter how strong the flirting symptoms are, this article explains what it means, how to spot them, and how to avoid getting led on.
What is meant by breadcrumbing?
Leading someone on without intending to establish a romantic relationship with them is known as breadcrumbing. Although they appear to be interested in you, they have ulterior motives that are self-serving and disguised.
The foundation of effective leadership is breadcrumbs. What keeps you engaged and invested in them are the phone calls, messages, and presents. Because they don’t want you to look anywhere else except at them, they scatter breadcrumbs.
Read more: Want a Healthier Love Life? Try These 10 Self-Awareness Habits
Can breadcrumbing be considered an abuse?
Because it entails manipulation and control, breadcrumbing is a form of emotional abuse. Someone will come out straight rather than scattering breadcrumbs if they genuinely love you. They will also give you a sense of worth, love, and concern.
As stated by marriage and family therapist Dr. Kimberly VanBuren:
To allay their own skepticism and reluctance to commit, someone will scatter attention. This is because they are unaware that genuineness and honesty are genuinely necessary for a connection.
You will discover the deceit that people employ in love relationships due to self-serving objectives, according to Tim Cole’s research, Lying to the One You Love.
Ten indicators of being breadcrumbed
A side view of a charming man and a young woman grinning and flirting while working at a cafe
Unless you know what to look for, it may be hard to identify if you are being breadcrumbed. These are a few indicators that someone is pursuing you without any real commitment.
1. They are not consistent
Seeing a breadcrumbing relationship’s irregularity is one method to identify it. They may follow you for a few weeks, giving you the impression that they are considering you. They abruptly stop responding to your calls or messages, and they disappear.
They come out to try to reignite the spark when you’ve all but forgotten about them. They are confident that you will always want to travel that path with them, so they may say it again and over again. As a result, you will have to start over.
2. They consistently delay scheduled events.
When someone skips dates or get-togethers, it’s another sign that they are breadcrumbing. They will arouse your expectations and make you eager for the meeting before the appointed day. Then, for some reason, they cancel on you when the date approaches.
This is one of the telltale indicators of breadcrumbing, so if they do it again, you should not take them seriously the next time.
3. They enjoy acting as the victim.
The perpetrator always loves to play the victim, even if they are at fault, if you’ve ever wondered what a breadcrumber feels like. For example, they return and accuse you of failing to check on them after being incommunicado for a while.
Additionally, they will blame you for not trying to call them to find out why they didn’t respond to your texts if you text them and they respond after a long time.
4. They want to talk at strange times.
The way they interact with you is one instance of breadcrumbing. They typically get in touch with their victims when they are at their most vulnerable.
They will get in touch with you if they are aware that you are single and spending the night by yourself. Since your loneliness is at its worst, this would be the ideal time for them to flood your mind with falsehoods and flattering remarks.
However, because they are busy breadcrumbing other people, they may avoid speaking to you during the day.
5. When you learn, they momentarily change.
They will deny it when you confront them and inform them that you are being breadcrumbed. They will behave normally and stay in contact in the interim to refute your claim.
They will revert to their previous behavior once they learn that you have forgiven them and that you are once again speaking with them.
When someone breadcrumbs another, they are completely aware of what they are doing. They will therefore temporarily alter their behavior once they become aware that you have noticed.
Therefore, this is one indicator to look out for if you’ve ever wondered what breadcrumbing is.
6. They provide unclear messages.
Someone who breadcrumbs may have conflicting emotions, which makes it challenging to fully comprehend their SMS message. Someone who breadcrumbs perhaps think about committing to a serious relationship with you.
However, they will consider the possibilities and decide that it is preferable to experiment in the interim. Because they don’t know what they want, they will send messages that are difficult to interpret.
7. You don’t have a significant relationship with them.
It would be difficult to see the advantages of your connection with someone when you are constantly arguing with them. Even though you may have in-depth discussions with them, their messages typically lack substance.
Some of them don’t want to commit, therefore they don’t feel the need to learn more about you. You may initially believe that they are interested in you. However, you will come to understand that they are only interested in themselves and that you are merely a transitory partner.
8. They use different channels to reach you.
They may be breadcrumbing you if you observe that they are constantly mentioning you on social media and other avenues of contact. For example, they may continue to communicate with you on Facebook while leaving your WhatsApp messages unopened.
Read more ; 15 Warning Signs He’s Actually a Player
They will keep an eye on your activities without interacting with you if they don’t communicate with you via other means. They will continue to hang around until they are ready to talk to you, making it difficult for you to forget about them.
9. They cause you to feel self-conscious.
You will be thrilled to hear from someone when they phone or text you. You will understand, though, that this thrill is not “bone-marrow” deep.
Since they are among the few people who have piqued your interest, you are only glad to hear from them. You still don’t know what they want, though.
If they give you a compliment, it’s not because they want you to feel better but rather because they need something from you. As a result, you will continue to feel self-conscious and wait for their praise to make the agony go away.
10. They want sex always
They are only interested in your body if they become physical every time you see them. This is one indication of marital disintegration for couples. They will tell you falsehoods to make you feel as though they want to see you because they miss you.
They seem to lose interest for a little while before returning, but when you meet up in person, it always ends with sex. These individuals don’t want a committed relationship and don’t have any long-term goals for you. They will therefore continue to use you to satiate their erotic desires.
It’s critical that you recognize the warning indications that someone is breadcrumbing you and is not interested in you. As a result, the book Signs He’s Not Into You by Yaz’s Place is a comprehensive manual that offers a wealth of dating guidance.
Which breadcrumbing examples are there?
Here are some samples to help you visualize what breadcrumbing looks like.
“What are you doing presently?” is one of the queries they pose.
You can discuss your current activities in detail while they listen to this question. As a result, you will think they listen well yet have a secret objective.
They use flirtatious emojis.
Some send emojis that suggest flirting or a sensual activity. They must want something if they send these on a regular basis.
They interact with your postings on social media.
They follow your social media accounts because they want to know what’s happening in your life.
They make statements like “Let’s meet up soon.”
They seem interested in meeting, but when the time comes, they end up canceling the appointments.
Seven strategies for dealing with someone who is ignoring you
Because you keep going back and forth without knowing what to anticipate from your partner or admirer, breadcrumbing can be challenging to manage. Here are some strategies to assist yourself if you have ever wondered how to react to breadcrumbing.
1. Talk to them about
Communicating openly and honestly with those who are breadcrumbing you is crucial. It is necessary to let them know that you are aware of their actions. Usually, they would express regret to you and pledge to make amends.
If they do, keep a close eye on them! When you notice that they revert to their old ways, you can conclude that their apology was not sincere and consider parting ways with them.
2. Break off contact with them
It’s a good idea to break up with someone who has been breadcrumbing you. You should break off contact with them as soon as you discover they have deceived you.
You will gain control over your mental and emotional health by doing this. Since you are aware of their desires, you will stop thinking about them.
It would also be easier for you to focus on other prospective partners. Cutting off someone who has been breadcrumbing you shows that you want to regain your self-respect.
3. Be honest with yourself
Digital Composite of Loving Couple on Graphic Background
You might be breadcrumbed to the point where you begin to deceive yourself that they are interested in you. Also, you might think they want to have something serious with you and that you need to be more patient with them.
One way to be upfront with yourself is to know the signs of someone who is truly interested in you. In addition, you need to sincerely answer if they are honest and open with you or not.
4. Ignore their tactics
You can decide to turn a blind eye to their game so that they can get frustrated. When they observe that it is impossible to hoodwink you, they will get tired and give up. It is important to understand that people who breadcrumb others see themselves as Chess Grandmaster where they think they are in control.
Therefore, the best way to beat them at their game is to avoid participating instead of being an active player. If they really want you, they will amend their ways and come up straight with you instead of playing around.
5. Beat them at their game
Since you know you have been breadcrumbed, you can turn things around by playing their game. When they send flirtatious text messages, you can reply in the same vein. Also, if you schedule dates or hangouts, cancel them before they do it.
Ensure you replicate their actions so that you can leave them confused. This might be difficult to achieve, especially if you are interested in them.
However, remember that they have been playing with your feelings because they do not want to be with you. Therefore, you can get back at them by providing the balance through being an active participant in their game of wits.
6. Have dates with other people
Usually, when you are breadcrumbed, it might be difficult to notice other people who have a crush on you. Similarly, it would be difficult for you to be interested in other people.
Hence, when you begin to realize that you have been breadcrumbed, you can break out of their chains by hanging out with other people.
This might be difficult, but you can start by meeting friends and acquaintances. Along the way, you will meet other people who are interested in you, and you can go on dates with them.
When the person breadcrumbing you realizes that you have been going on dates with other people, they will rethink their actions. If they truly want you, they will come up straight with you and request to take things between the both of you to the next level.
7. Respect yourself
If you don’t respect yourself, you will experience being breadcrumbed severely. One way to start is by realizing the importance of confidence and high self-esteem. Always tell yourself that you deserve the best and should not beg for love, care, and attention.
Breadcrumbing is a manipulative way of getting someone to fall in love with you. Remember that you don’t deserve this kind of love.
When you realize that the person you like keeps leaving breadcrumbs for you to pick, you need to reconsider your relationship with them. Such people might have selected you as their backup plan, which is why they keep playing with your heart and mind.
It’s high time you stopped falling for unavailable people. Here’s a book by Dr. Marni Feuerman titled: Ghosted and Breadcrumbed. This book teaches people how to handle situations where prospective partners keep ghosting in and out of their lives.
In conclusion
People who ask questions like what is breadcrumbing now have a good idea of what the phenomenon means. It can be difficult to break free from being breadcrumbed because you would have the impression that they want you.
However, be careful not to be taken in by their tricks because if you finally have something serious to do with them, the relationship can become toxic. Therefore, you need to watch out for the signs that you are being breadcrumbed and keep your distance from them.
